Greek Complexity

Real-life bloopers

Just stumbled across 14 of the stupidest things ever said in sales meetings, of which my favourite has to be:

8. “How many times do people have to see it in sitcoms before they stop saying ‘when is your baby due?’ to an obese woman.”

I should compile one of these lists too. For people coming to my firm to raise funding for their companies and then saying unbelievably stupid things. Fortunately, it doesn't happen that often.

Speaking of SIA

They're losing the plot. Service-wise, I mean. Getting to one's destination on time? No problem. Ever.

But the fall in service standards is another story. The other day, I had a problem with my video screen. This is something that's not uncommon these days, depending on the route one is flying (read: the plane they allocate to that route). What's unusual though is the reaction of flight staff.

When I asked a crew member about the problem with the screen at my seat, he looked at it casually, shrugged, said "It's an old plane" and walked off.

When this happened on my previous flight, I wasn't even given that excuse. Or any excuse.

Interestingly, my statistically nonsensical gut feel is that the younger crew actually come across as more contrite than the older ones. And among the older crew, the women come across as more genuinely apologetic than the men.

My theory? From first-hand observation, it's pretty clear that the female crew do much more work on the plane than the men. Yet, I'm told, the men find it easier to get promoted than the women. That's because there are many more women than men working as flight crew. Also possibly because some women leave the crew when they get married, but that's just a guess. Could this result in a general sense of complacency among senior male flight crew?

SIA's changed their pre-flight video! Mr Perfect Pitch stepped on a stair that just wasn't there. Guy next to me must have wondered what the hell I was doing emitting that single note out of the blue.

Epilogue: A Fraser victim

All you sentimentalists may now shed a tear. I waved the all-clear prematurely last week. The bike is in fact broken. Kaput. Rosak. In leaving me without a scratch, it let itself bear the brunt. We shall treasure its memory and mourn its loss. May it rest in peace, not pieces.

After pride...

...comes a fall. On Day 3, the plan was to ride down Fraser again, this time heading by a different route to the bottom of Genting. Thence, homewards on the bus. Of course, I had to repeat the previous day's downhill dose. This time though I pushed just a little too hard. Descending the one-way road towards the Gap, I didn't slow down enough coming into a right turn. I wish there had been a video camera there as I'm sure it would have been the funniest capture ever.

There I was, going just a little too fast to try to make the turn and wondering what to do. The hill rose up on the left of the road and falling away towards the right. Rocky Chris was the next fastest rider and he was at least 100 metres behind me, so I didn't need to worry about bringing him down with me as well. In those two or three seconds, I assessed me options:

1. Force the bike into the turn, hit the deck on my right and slide towards the wall feet first.
2. Slow down as much as possible, brace myself for impact and just hit the wall head-on.
3. Slow down but fall leftwards against the wall hitting it with my left shoulder.

So what did I do?

In the event, the reason a video would have been hilarious is that, any onlooker would have seen a cartoon-like sequence of events. Chap comes rolling downhill and simply goes splat against the wall. Cue laugh-track. So, yes, no miserable shrieking before the crash, a slight wheelie and onward straight into the wall. I am happy to report to the sentimentalists among us that the bicycle remains intact. I am also happy to report to the environmentalists among us that the wall too remains intact. The only thing that didn't remain intact was my pride. And yes, not a scratch on me. Cursing myself for my stupidity, I got up, Chris helped me pull my right shifter back into place and on we went.

In the end, an anti-climax. Going over some gravel, a tiny pebble sneaked into my rear tyre and damaged both tube and tyre. Not being able to repair the tyre, I decided to clamber into the bus. End of an enjoyable and eventful weekend!

Losing my virginity. Again.

Having climbed up Fraser the afternoon before, I was relishing the prospect of hurtling down to the bottom before climbing up Genting. Slightly mad, no doubt, but can you blame me? I was first down to Kota Kuala Bharu with an average of about 34 km/h and a max of 65 km/h. Before you ask, the 65 wasn't down a curvy hill road; it was coming down a long straight downhill stretch after the dam. And I wasn't even panting! I love this gear setup. Up boleh, down oso can.

Getting down to the bottom before anyone else has its disadvantages. I had to wait three or four minutes before the next fastest group made it down and nearly an hour before the last of our group got there, partly because Pascal had decided to make his mark on the hill :-) Read about it elsewhere.

Then came the scary part: going up Genting. After a short flat bit to the bottom bit, the pack got strung out. With my max of a 25-tooth sprocket, I wanted to stay a few cogs up so that I could have the satisfaction of shifting down to an easier gear further up the slopes. It didn't last long. I was down to my last cog but one pretty soon and then down to the largest and easiest cog soon after.

Grinding up the slopes, strangely, I didn't cramp and I didn't hurt (that much). I just kept grinding and felt tired and thirsty. At which point, I'd stop and eat a little, sip a little water. I didn't want to walk. I wasn't cramping so walking just seemed pointless. I preferred to just be slow up to the top.

To cut a long story, I did make it to the top. On a compact and an 11/25 cassette!  My average dropped from the aforementioned 34 to a 21 to the top of Genting. So what. I made it to the top and that's all that counts. Next time --next time???-- maybe I'll up the ante and try to get up without using the 25.

Losing my virginity

It was finally time. To step up. To demonstrate my commitment to the next level. In other words, to go all the way. All the way up Fraser and Genting. 

Foolishly --no, actually, I just didn't have time-- I had set myself up on a compact crank and a 11/25 cassette. Ok for Fraser, slightly maniacal for Genting, which is reputed to be, as I've said, one of the harder climbs the cycling world has to offer. I've lost track of the number of people who'd advised me to affix larger sprockets to my machine. No matter, I said to myself, what was the worst that could happen? I'd have to WALK? Big deal.

As it turned out, Fraser was in fact very doable although we did it at the hottest period of the afternoon. I had company almost all the way from Kota Kuala Bharu at the base of Fraser Hill, initially staying with Pascal, who later dropped back, his lack of recent miles showing. Later, I caught up with co-virgin Wendy and together we encouraged each other to the top. I encouraged her overtly and she encouraged me probably not even realising that she was, just by her very presence and grit. (She's a true inspiration, as I found out later, rendered almost teary-eyed and lumpy-throated by her story.)

Wendy threw in the towel at the Gap. This is the point at which the two-lane road turns into a one-lane road that opens to traffic only in one direction at a time. From here onwards, the road turns a little steeper. It's only (only!) 8-ish more kilometres to the top, which doesn't seem like much for someone who's already done 30-ish kilometres uphill. But as I said, it suddenly gets steeper and narrower. A sudden heavy downpour added another element to the mix and the cherry on top was my running out of water. I begged some water from passing comrades but didn't want to impose by taking more than a few gulps. Our charter bus caught up with me at one point and I stopped to ask for a refill only to be told by our drivers, quite incredibly, to keep going.

So I did.

The heavens continued to gush down and I opened my mouth, not panting now, just swallowing the fresh sweat-diluted water. With 5 km to go, I considered getting down on all fours and drinking water off the road. It would have been clean, such was the volume of liquid pouring out of the sky, but the prospect of a vehicle hurtling up the path failing to see me and giving me a smart bump up the unmentionables dissuaded me.

Chugging on, at about the 3km mark, the road suddenly levelled off. Hardly able to believe it, I shifted up a couple of notches on my cassette and sped up. It didn't last long but the ride was nearly done by this time and the increase in speed was very encouraging. I didn't have my speedo on so I don't have any ride stats. Will update this post later if I ever get down to doing the calculations.

Later that evening, our friend Michel, who is a pilates instructor and a very fast rider, showed a few of us his usual nightly stretching routine. What a miracle-worker. The next morning, I felt none of the usual aches and pains. Even a muscle ache that had built up in my left gluteus muscles (the buttock for the anatomy-challenged) because of an incorrectly adjusted handlebar disappeared come morning!

it was time for Genting. And time for another blog post.

Ride log: Joyriders Kranji

Good ride today with the Joyriders. Some bits were HARD. I estimate an RPE of 14 for the ride as a whole but it was definitely in the 15-16 range for some of the time. I was carrying a backpack with shoes and a change of clothes so that didn't help. My friend Joyce joked that her shoulders hurt just looking at me :) Also didn't help that my sleep cycle went for a toss over the long weekend and I couldn't sleep until very late last night yet woke up automatically at about 2.45am. Very pleased with the average speed all considered.

Ride stats:
1:55:47
61.38 km
31.8 km/h avg
58.0 km/h max (this is where heavy backpacks come in handy)
189 max heart rate (above my estimated LTHR of 185!)
166 avg heart rate

Genting prep

I'm signed up to ride up Fraser Hill and Genting Highlands very soon, assuming I can take time off work. Fraser is supposed to be a very doable ride but Genting is quite a hairy prospect. Various people have variously informed me that it is variously the third or fourth hardest climb on the world pro circuit. Even without aiming to break any speed records, this doesn't sound like a walk in the park! Particularly since my training has been of the on-again-off-again variety. I just want to get to the top without stopping or falling off, hence the prep.

Today's ride was a sequel to a ride I set out on yesterday. I'd planned to do a hilly series (yes, incredible but true, possible even in Singapore) through NUS and South Buona Vista and finishing with a few loops of Mount Faber. Rain put paid to that plan so I only managed an aborted ride through NUS. I did manage, however, to test out my new compact crank. For the non-cyclist reader, think of the compact crank simply as a gearing arrangement that makes it easier to scale steep climbs. Very gratified to report that the compacts helped me get up to Kent Ridge Park! The approach road to Kent Ridge Park goes by the moniker of Vigilante Drive but it should probably be renamed Assassin Drive. The unwary cyclist (or even car) is presented with a sudden steep wall of a slope that would be absurdly funny if it wasn't real. It doesn't help that roadies' cycling shoes clip into the pedals and disengaging before a fall at super-slow speed isn't the easiest thing. I did need to stand to make sure I made it up but no other problems. In fact, pedalling sitting down, my front wheel kept jumping off the road because my weight was shifted so far back. I made it up. That's all that counts.

Today's ride was a straightforward 8 loops of Mount Faber. High gearing and cadence never above 40 rpm and sometimes much lower so as to increase the intensity of the workout. (Cadence = number of pedals spins per minute. In my case, usually in the range of 90-110 rpm.) At the end of each loop, I raised the gearing a notch. Only allowed myself to stand up and pedal (ie, cheat) on the last loop, and even that only because I know I'll need to do that on Genting at some point, so practice is a good idea. Very happy to report that I never needed to switch down to my easiest gear. In fact, I had a few in reserve. Genting will be harder though because it's relentless. No easy patches to rest the legs before it's once more unto the breach.

Climbs are interesting. It's not just sheer leg power that gets one up. It's also controlling one's heart rate and breathing, maintaining a good pedalling rhythm, having above average bike-handling skills, and, perhaps surprisingly, having a strong lower back, arms and shoulders.

Today's ride stats:
1:39:38
36.02 km
21.7 km/h average
56.2 km/h max
178 max heart rate
148 avg heart rate

New! Improved!

Into each blog a new category must fall. I've decided to occasionally talk about cycling as that's such a pretty significant part of my life. Let's get started. Or as we cyclists say, "Rolling!"